After your humans give you a bath, DON’T LET THEM TOWEL DRY YOU! Instead, run to their bed, jump up, and dry yourself off on the sheets. This is especially good if it’s right before your human’s bedtime.
Let the humans teach you a brand new trick. Learn it perfectly. When the humans try to demonstrate it to someone else, stare blankly back at the humans. Pretend you have no idea what they’re talking about.
Make your humans be patient. When you go outside to go ‘potty’, Sniff around the entire yard as your humans wait. Act as if the spot you choose to go potty will ultimately decide the fate of the earth.
Make your own rules. Don’t always bring back the stick when playing fetch with the humans. Make them go and chase it once in a while.
Wake up twenty minutes before the alarm clock is set to go off, and make the humans take you out for your morning potty. As soon as you get back inside, fall asleep.
(c) the Town Crier, 2004
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